Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Before I got deep into the occult, I had a point in my life when I was a good little christian girl. I had tapped into the supernatural but I had one of those points when I came across a sermon being preached about it. I stopped, repented, cried and gave my life to Jesus. Then, the demons got me another way.
I was 13 and they prettied up a church boy for me. To this day, I don't know what it was that got me, but it got me bad. I didn't even know this boy; in fact, I'd never seen him until one Sunday morning. He was just sitting there, totally innocent and my mind was wandering. My gaze came across him and that was it. Something around him, an aura or something caught my eye and I was stuck from then on. It wasn't a physical attraction, but something that to this day, I don't understand. It was mental, emotional, spiritual, I dont know but at this point, I don't care anymore. It lasted too long, with too much suffering, and it led me right back down to the occult.
I would always want to know what he thought of me, if he liked me, blah blah blah so I bought a deck of oracle cards. It was the angel deck so I made up an excuse saying "well, it's not tarot and this is communicating with angels and that's not wrong, right?" That's when I got deeper into the occult and better at it. When I found that I was good with the cards, I decided to put my mind to use with the gifts I already knew I had.
**sidenote: for more details on the other gifts and some background info, go to the post called "Introduction. I'll add it there."**
Communicating with spirits(using oracle cards, playing cards, mirrors, candle flames, even my own body), bringing on visions of the future, manipulating the thoughts of anyone I wanted...those were the things that I dealt with every day from age 13 to 18. It was easy and I enjoyed it, because the demons made sure I enjoyed it.
One of my problems with taking part in the occult was the fact that the "spirits" always made themselves seem so kind. The hellish demons were always dark and frightening but the other "spirits" (which I believe are just another form of demon) were making themselves known and talking to me, slowly gaining my trust.
See, that's how demons work. Their whole purpose is to take as many souls as they can with them into damnation when Christ comes. They deceive you into thinking they're kind and gentle and harmless but I assure you that the second you turn your back on them, they will turn on you.
**Side note: I discovered this through personal experience but it was confirmed just two nights ago as I watched a documentary called "To Hell and Back." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrmzR82Izyo - previously, he was saying how when he first died, his spirit left his body and he was in the hospital room. He heard (nice) voices telling him to come with them.**
I sort of became "friends" with spirits, communicating with them every day. I loved having them around but that voice kept telling me, "stop it, this is not right." When I turned 18, my boyfriend (who has always been unaware of my spiritual war) proposed and I accepted. That last year was full of that constant voice warning me to stop and verses and sermons were constantly in my way. **Please keep in mind that all this time I was involved in magic and such, I still believed in God. I considered myself a "Christian Psychic."** I was reading the Bible one afternoon and came across a section talking about if you come across a person sinning and don't correct them, you will be held responsible for them. That was something I read while dealing with the realization that I was sinning in witchcraft and that it's impossible to be a christian psychic. So, one day I was working on packing my things, getting ready to move across country after my wedding. With guilt and negative emotions filling me, I threw all my cards and books and things of magic away with the rest of the garbage from my drawers. In the middle of packing, my best friend and I decided to hang out a while so I dropped everything, left my room and came back later that night. What I found was what scared me to death.
I went to throw away some more garbage but when I opened the bag, the oracle cards and books...ONLY the oracle cards and books...were black, smothered, completely covered with crawling black ants. They were on nothing else but the cards. I looked around the bag, on the floors and walls to find a line leading to them but there was nothing. I immediately felt a very negative, very hostile emotion and I quickly tied up the bag and threw it away. I came back to my room and cried and prayed. I felt so stupid to have befriended the unseen things around me; stupid and guilty and ashamed. I remember laying on my bed while I was sobbing. I rolled onto my side, and suddenly this calm just overtook me. I felt someone standing near me, beside the bed and I just smiled. I was safe and there was an angel there with me. From then on, I stopped anything having to do with the occult. But...that wasn't the end for me.
This will be continued on Part III...life is calling...
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
My first experience started when I was only 7 years old. It started with a dream. The thing about this dream that was interesting what that my little brother had the exact one at the same exact time. We awoke together, cried to our mother together, still share the memory together.
Though I don't remember every detail of the dream, I do know there was a hilltop and below me, on every side, were snakes. I remember being terrified and waking up wet from tears. My little brother was the same.
Years had passed, I didn't dwell on the dream (c'mon, it was just a dream, right?). Through that time, I had a number of other dreams with snakes but from snakes, came demons and with demons, came Satan. I was only 8 yrs old when I first had a dream of Satan himself and his demons. When I was about eleven or twelve, I began to see demons with my physical eyes. They were everywhere I went. Most didn't seem to realize that I saw them, but others laughed and tried to scare me. I was young and since I grew up having imaginary friends and such, I wasn't as scared as one would think.
**Side note: Those who work with demons as adults(demonologists, priests, etc.) are normally people who dealt with demons as children. That is one reason they are not afraid. I'd like to refer my readers to this article: http://socyberty.com/paranormal/fear-and-the-unknown/ **
In that dream, I stood face to face with Satan. With a demon on either side of him, he began to speak but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I just watched in fear as his lips moved. When he was finished, he turned and disappeared into the darkness, but the 2 demons came to me. That's when I woke up.
I didn't realize it at that time that the dream was telling me something; these demons were assigned to me and would follow me through the years. With them came illness and more nightmares.
Most nightmares had to do with cemetaries and dead bodies. I continued to see and feel demons and was even physically pushed and scratched by them. When I was about 12 yrs old, I got up the courage to tell my parents about what was happening. They just nodded their heads and looked at eachother, unsure of what to think. After I got it out to them, I decided to speak out to others in my church; friends mostly. It eventually got out to the pastor, who I'm closely related to, and was prayed for in the church. People started looking at me differently, though I know that many believed I was just making things up.
**Side note: I want you to imagine a tall, gangly blonde girl with disheveled hair and bad posture that was interested in fairies and dragons. That was me, so no wonder many didn't believe me**
When I saw the way my parents looked at me, I thought they didn't believe me either, so I refrained from telling them anything else that happend. I was prayed for in my church, but no one bothered confronting me and trying to talk to me about it. Thinking about it now bothers me more than it did back then. I guess I didn't really want everyone to be paying that sort of attention to me.
So, things went on and since I didn't have the courage to go back to the church for help, I turned to the occult; the only thing that seemed to have answers right when I wanted them. I fell deep into it and I was good. I read oracle cards, I spoke to spirits, I read palms and even got to the point of knowing a person more than they'd like, just by looking at them.
One experience was in seventh grade. I was with a group of girls and we got into the conversation about things that happend to us. I just blurted out to them that I could know what everyone wanted to be when they grew up just by looking at them. They laughed and, naturally, asked me to prove it; so I did. I'd point to someone in the distance(students I didn't know), take a look and tell the girls what that person wanted to do when they graduated. One of the girls went up to them and asked, then came back dumbfounded. I was right. From then on, some girls stopped talking to me while others were extremely interested.
Most experiences took place in my bedroom but always with witnesses. My little brother tells me even to this day how much he never liked my bedroom because it felt strange. My other friends witnessed as my eyes followed a demon walking around and even heard as it scratched the wall.
I stayed with the occult for years but throughout it all, I constantly had this voice in the back of my mind telling me that what I was doing what wrong. I tried to ignore that voice and went on but it wouldn't leave me. There were many times when I would come across a Bible verse or hear a preacher give a sermon on the topic and I would fall back from the spiritual world but I always came back. The more I did, the better I got. I amazed my friends and I felt like I was the most powerful person my age. Power hungry; typical.
Oh Lord, I wish I could go on but life is calling! I will continue with Part II tomorrow. Leave me some comments and even questions if you'd like!
Have a good day!
This blog was created for the purpose of speaking out to those lost christians though anyone else interested is more than welcome! It will hopefully make people realize that demons are very real and include themselves in our lives every single day. The spiritual world, though unseen, is not to be ignored but we need to learn to discern between light and dark,
At this point in time, I am not comfortable enough to disclose my real name so I will call myself "Vision" for now. You'll understand why soon enough.
I am a Pentecostal christian, though my views are stricter than most, but for good reason.
In this blog, I will share with you my experiences from the past as well as the present. I pray that God will work in my mind to choose the right words in such a way that makes all I write easy to understand.
I will go through demons, visions, angels, God, etc. So much to share!
Background Info: While dealing with the occult in my life, I considered myself a christian psychic. But before that, I knew I was different from other people. I could see and sense demonic spirits. I was also very sensitive to people's feelings, sharing in their pain and happiness. I later discovered that this was called Empathy. I had dreams that would come true and could predict outcomes in nearly every situation. I could sense people's personalities and was always right without every having to talk to them. I would know an empath the moment I made eye contact with one. Being a precog empath was what took me to the occult when I didn't find the answers I wanted from my church. (then again, i was afraid to confront anyone about it)
Somewhere between the ages of 4 and 6, I was struck by lightening in my backyard. My little brother, who is 2 yrs younger than me, vaguely remembers it, since he was close by me. I wasn't injured. I had no burns, no scars, nothing. But thanks to that, no one in my family knew what happened. For the rest of my life, I've been sensitive to electricity. (getting shocked all the time, making lights flicker, even those little meters that detect electricity light up when they touch me lol needless to say, kids had fun with me in Chemistry class).
-There may be many errors throughout this blog. There are demons at work trying to keep me from saying what needs to be said by twisting my tongue when speaking, and making my hands tremble when typing. When this happens, I know I am supposed to write what I have in mind. That's pretty intense, huh? That's only a piece of what I deal with on a day to day basis.