It's been a long time again. I've had 2 kids since my last post and do you know what I've realized? My mind blocks with every pregnancy. My empathy, my dreams, my spiritual openness is gone. It comes back eventually after a couple of years but until it does, I feel like an empty shell.
I've been feeling things. I've been picking up on my kids' headaches, pain from boob-boo's, etc. I've been restless the last few weeks and have had no appetite. Today, I've been filled with a building sense of some sort of power - like I'm going to explode with some form of energy. Nothings happened yet, obviously, but I feel so vulnerable. I don't know what to do to make myself feel better.
I don't know how to explain it but the most interesting part? I've finally had a chance and the desire to sit and read my Bible again recently...that desire is rarely there just after having kids...until the "abilities" come back and now, since I've been trying to come closer to God again, my openness is starting to come back.
I feel like God allows this so that I can put the stress of these things on the back-burner until I'm passed the sleepless nights of nursing and baby colic. Now that said things have passed, it's like God's giving it back again.
So, this may be the first of many new posts to come.
I've been answering emails so feel free to shoot me a message if you need to talk.
I'm aware this was not much of a post but more of a vent...I don't know what to do right now. I'm in a pretty dark place.