Monday, February 15, 2010

Some Things to Share

Well, I haven't gotten around to writing anything lately but for good reason. A few interesting things have taken place over the last week. I don't know why it's happening or what brought it on but I dont exactly care for the time being; I'm focusing on it not interefering with my every day life.

I'll start with the lighter and less serious of experiences. About two days ago, I had a full blown Matrix-like deja vu thing happen. I was sitting at the kitchen bar, talking to my husband when I saw my cat jump from around the corner and pounce on a ball. I blinked and then I saw the same exact thing, 100%. I kind of shook and my eyes widened and my husband looked at me all confused so I told him. He just laughed at me lol (Reminder: he's not aware of these sorts of things in my life. He knows I was involved in witchcraft back in high school but he doesnt know the whole psychic side of it all.)

Anyway, the other thing that's been happening is being sucked into visions and memories so strongly that I forget where I am. It's happened a number of times over the week and it's not exactly pleasant. I was remembering something from when I was little and when I got sucked out of the memory, I took in a sharp breath and looked around like, what the heck?! My mind was so focused on it that I actually had to think harder than usual to remember that I lived in another state and had a family of my own. I didn't like it. I dont like the idea of being lost in my mind and not realizing it until I'm out. I mean, what if I get stuck? What will happen to my body?

That experience takes me to the next one. It was communicated to me by what I believe was the Holy Spirit that I am to stay far from hypnotism. (I was thinking about it once or twice this past week) Apparently, if I get hypnotized, I'm opening a door for possessive spirits to enter me. Creepy, huh?

This last thing I want to share ticks me more than scares me. Sometime last week, I saw, for the first time in years, a dark spirit with my physical eye. I was outside with my husband and I saw it behind him, a few yards away. It wasn't like the demons I'd seen growing up but this one was much taller and wider. It was moving within a shadow, though I don't know what it was doing there in the first place. If it werent for the sense that came with it, I'd have thought that it was just my eyes playing a trick on me. Well, no...that's not true...because I watched it as it moved around. So, it was a movement from the corner of my eye, but when I looked at it, it continued moving. There, easier way to put it.


like I said, I havent seen one with my physical eyes for years. Neither do I know WHY I saw it. But, I'll be praying about it for some answers.

Okay, I gotta go for a bit though there is more I'd like to write. I'll have to come back this later tonight if I can.


Friday, February 5, 2010

Do I Have Permission To Go Insane?

Alright, here is a wonderful opportunity to share the kind of garbage I have to deal with.

I'm just exhausted of all these attacks from the spirit world and I don't know how to stop it.

Last night's dream was intertwined with a tornado dream which is normally a warning for me that something is about to happen. Well, normally...the only difference is that in the dream, I didn't actually SEE the tornado but I was with a number of ppl (in Oklahoma, apparently) that were waiting for it; expecting it and readying ourselves for it. Also in the dream was the feeling of being bare and discovered. (yes, a scene where i was suddenly naked haha). And, a scene with a woman who knows that my past consisted of witchcraft.

So, my prediction?
Some of my past that I would rather not have shared with the whole church will get out, probably through this woman that knows the fact that I was involved with the occult. It's probably going to make me nervous that it will turn into something worse or it WILL turn into something worse. Idk.

Anyone ever have something similar happen or any insight? You're more than welcome to share.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Jack of All Trades

You know what's frustrating? The fact that people see me as some preachy, putter-downer on psychics. Like i'm a skeptic or something! Please! I know what psychic abilities are like. I've read cards and people and chakras and communicated with demons and spirits and worked with remote viewing, I see visions, predicted the future, seen the past, had out of body experiences, etc. You name it, I've done it.

What people don't realize is the strength it takes to be willing to put aside these amazing abilities for the sake of one's soul. Not only strength to let it go but strength to deal with all the spiritual attacks that happen one after another. I found that my abilities did not come from God but were deceiving tools to pull me down and I've seen enough of Hell to know that I will do anything to stay away from there. But the fact that I don't use these abilities doesn't mean that they're not there or that I'm not affected by them.

You see, (i'm sure I already made this point but let me say it again), when you turn your back on those spirits, they turn their's on you. They attack physically, mentally and emotionally and let me tell you, it takes it toll. Just yesterday, I felt them around me, going in and out of my head trying to make me use the abilities to make the pain stop. Everything in my gut was twisting and wrenching and my mind was just a mess. I have to deal with that all the time and I have no one to tell, no one to run to to make it stop. The only way to stop it is to do something like scrying or people reading. Now, knowing this, I can't very well fall into that trap and I take it until the present spirits get bored and move on.

Then, I have the constant nagging of people who know the extent of what I'm able to do in emails and txts asking me to look into this situation and read them and what not. "My boyfriend said this, what did he really mean? What's going to happen if I do this? Hey, can you read my chakras? I have a spirit in my house, is it a demon?"

Oh and of course those wonderful people who try to make it look "cool" and ask me to join Ghost Hunting groups and the like. Sure it's cool if you don't believe in God or that he condemns witchcraft. Sure it's cool if you don't know what Hell is going to be like. Sure it's cool if you're not constantly bombarded with night terrors and mental attacks every night and day. But I know all this and I know that God did give me a specific gift and that I need to not cross the line into confusing supernatural abilites from negative spirits with His gift from the Holy Spirit. Do you have any idea how hard that is?? Nearly impossible! And I often find myself crossing that line and running back before I get trapped again.

I really wish that people could see what I've seen and open their eyes to what the paranormal field of interest really leads to in the end. It's horrible but it's veiled by the idea that it's innocent and safe and fun and "COOL."

God, if you all really knew. If I could just reach one person then it could be the beginning of something amazing. People would use the right abilities for the right reasons and we could still help so many out there.