You know what's frustrating? The fact that people see me as some preachy, putter-downer on psychics. Like i'm a skeptic or something! Please! I know what psychic abilities are like. I've read cards and people and chakras and communicated with demons and spirits and worked with remote viewing, I see visions, predicted the future, seen the past, had out of body experiences, etc. You name it, I've done it.
What people don't realize is the strength it takes to be willing to put aside these amazing abilities for the sake of one's soul. Not only strength to let it go but strength to deal with all the spiritual attacks that happen one after another. I found that my abilities did not come from God but were deceiving tools to pull me down and I've seen enough of Hell to know that I will do anything to stay away from there. But the fact that I don't use these abilities doesn't mean that they're not there or that I'm not affected by them.
You see, (i'm sure I already made this point but let me say it again), when you turn your back on those spirits, they turn their's on you. They attack physically, mentally and emotionally and let me tell you, it takes it toll. Just yesterday, I felt them around me, going in and out of my head trying to make me use the abilities to make the pain stop. Everything in my gut was twisting and wrenching and my mind was just a mess. I have to deal with that all the time and I have no one to tell, no one to run to to make it stop. The only way to stop it is to do something like scrying or people reading. Now, knowing this, I can't very well fall into that trap and I take it until the present spirits get bored and move on.
Then, I have the constant nagging of people who know the extent of what I'm able to do in emails and txts asking me to look into this situation and read them and what not. "My boyfriend said this, what did he really mean? What's going to happen if I do this? Hey, can you read my chakras? I have a spirit in my house, is it a demon?"
Oh and of course those wonderful people who try to make it look "cool" and ask me to join Ghost Hunting groups and the like. Sure it's cool if you don't believe in God or that he condemns witchcraft. Sure it's cool if you don't know what Hell is going to be like. Sure it's cool if you're not constantly bombarded with night terrors and mental attacks every night and day. But I know all this and I know that God did give me a specific gift and that I need to not cross the line into confusing supernatural abilites from negative spirits with His gift from the Holy Spirit. Do you have any idea how hard that is?? Nearly impossible! And I often find myself crossing that line and running back before I get trapped again.
I really wish that people could see what I've seen and open their eyes to what the paranormal field of interest really leads to in the end. It's horrible but it's veiled by the idea that it's innocent and safe and fun and "COOL."
God, if you all really knew. If I could just reach one person then it could be the beginning of something amazing. People would use the right abilities for the right reasons and we could still help so many out there.