Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Part II

Good morning, readers! I'm sorry I had to cut my previous part short. Let me continue...

Before I got deep into the occult, I had a point in my life when I was a good little christian girl. I had tapped into the supernatural but I had one of those points when I came across a sermon being preached about it. I stopped, repented, cried and gave my life to Jesus. Then, the demons got me another way.
I was 13 and they prettied up a church boy for me. To this day, I don't know what it was that got me, but it got me bad. I didn't even know this boy; in fact, I'd never seen him until one Sunday morning. He was just sitting there, totally innocent and my mind was wandering. My gaze came across him and that was it. Something around him, an aura or something caught my eye and I was stuck from then on. It wasn't a physical attraction, but something that to this day, I don't understand. It was mental, emotional, spiritual, I dont know but at this point, I don't care anymore. It lasted too long, with too much suffering, and it led me right back down to the occult.

I would always want to know what he thought of me, if he liked me, blah blah blah so I bought a deck of oracle cards. It was the angel deck so I made up an excuse saying "well, it's not tarot and this is communicating with angels and that's not wrong, right?" That's when I got deeper into the occult and better at it. When I found that I was good with the cards, I decided to put my mind to use with the gifts I already knew I had.
**sidenote: for more details on the other gifts and some background info, go to the post called "Introduction. I'll add it there."**

Communicating with spirits(using oracle cards, playing cards, mirrors, candle flames, even my own body), bringing on visions of the future, manipulating the thoughts of anyone I wanted...those were the things that I dealt with every day from age 13 to 18. It was easy and I enjoyed it, because the demons made sure I enjoyed it.

One of my problems with taking part in the occult was the fact that the "spirits" always made themselves seem so kind. The hellish demons were always dark and frightening but the other "spirits" (which I believe are just another form of demon) were making themselves known and talking to me, slowly gaining my trust.

See, that's how demons work. Their whole purpose is to take as many souls as they can with them into damnation when Christ comes. They deceive you into thinking they're kind and gentle and harmless but I assure you that the second you turn your back on them, they will turn on you.

**Side note: I discovered this through personal experience but it was confirmed just two nights ago as I watched a documentary called "To Hell and Back." - previously, he was saying how when he first died, his spirit left his body and he was in the hospital room. He heard (nice) voices telling him to come with them.**

I sort of became "friends" with spirits, communicating with them every day. I loved having them around but that voice kept telling me, "stop it, this is not right." When I turned 18, my boyfriend (who has always been unaware of my spiritual war) proposed and I accepted. That last year was full of that constant voice warning me to stop and verses and sermons were constantly in my way. **Please keep in mind that all this time I was involved in magic and such, I still believed in God. I considered myself a "Christian Psychic."** I was reading the Bible one afternoon and came across a section talking about if you come across a person sinning and don't correct them, you will be held responsible for them. That was something I read while dealing with the realization that I was sinning in witchcraft and that it's impossible to be a christian psychic. So, one day I was working on packing my things, getting ready to move across country after my wedding. With guilt and negative emotions filling me, I threw all my cards and books and things of magic away with the rest of the garbage from my drawers. In the middle of packing, my best friend and I decided to hang out a while so I dropped everything, left my room and came back later that night. What I found was what scared me to death.
I went to throw away some more garbage but when I opened the bag, the oracle cards and books...ONLY the oracle cards and books...were black, smothered, completely covered with crawling black ants. They were on nothing else but the cards. I looked around the bag, on the floors and walls to find a line leading to them but there was nothing. I immediately felt a very negative, very hostile emotion and I quickly tied up the bag and threw it away. I came back to my room and cried and prayed. I felt so stupid to have befriended the unseen things around me; stupid and guilty and ashamed. I remember laying on my bed while I was sobbing. I rolled onto my side, and suddenly this calm just overtook me. I felt someone standing near me, beside the bed and I just smiled. I was safe and there was an angel there with me. From then on, I stopped anything having to do with the occult. But...that wasn't the end for me.

This will be continued on Part is calling...

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