Thursday, March 3, 2011

They Never Go Away

Bad spirits. Once you're in, that's it. Only God himself can take them away.

I opened my mind to the dark plane when I was about thirteen. Through oracle cards, scrying, meditating on things I shouldn't have been. I invited them into my life eleven years ago and though they come and go, they never go for good.

I have times of peace. I can't deny that much. There are days, weeks, even months where there is silence in my mind on that side of things. Then, something happens. Something sets it off or the demons decide I've had enough peace. They get bored, maybe? I don't know. I know it says in the Bible that there are some demons that won't leave without fasting and prayer. I 'm 99% sure that I have some of those. I don't have full control over my thoughts. They wander off to weird, creepy things that I normally would not bother focusing on if I had complete control. I find myself shaking my head to get out of visions and such. These are the things that have been almost constant this last year. But, even though I know fasting and prayer can help me, I don't have the strength to fast, myself. I'm sick and my body is weakened. The last thing I think I could manage is not eating for any set time which would mean asking for others' prayer. I can't do that in person as most people don't know this side of my life.

There has been one difference this last month or two. My dreams. I don't remember the vast majority of them lately. It's just blank when I wake up. It's so strange to me to wake up without a dream to think back on. My visions have seemingly stopped, too. But I don't expect things to stay like this.

Today, I've had another attack. I can feel the energy pushing and pulling through my head. It's insane. I literally feel a pull of something...an aura or just life or something...pulling upward through the bone of my skull. My hearing is sensitive. I'm weak and tired when I shouldn't be. It's so uncomfortable knowing what it is. It's an attack on my soul to wear me out. To weaken me and pull me to the "comfort" of delving back into scrying and reading people. I don't want to read people and I don't want to vamp anymore.

I feel the desire to go to church, which I will tonight, but at the same time, I have that part of me saying I'm going to be looked at and talked about because I'm not like me when I have these problems going on. I'm so tired but I think I need to go to church. I'll be protected there while my mind is so open. That's what it feels like, at least. Like my mind is open to the dark again. I'm fighting against it, though. I won't give in.

-Vision

2 comments:

  1. They never go away? Oh but they do. We have but to choose to be children of light. Such a gift only means you are aware of their lurking, like that of a lion seeking whom he may devour (1Peter 5:8). As children of light, we draw our weapon from The Father. Let Hiw words be to you, a lamp unto your feet, a light unto your path (Psalm 119:105). For we fight darkness with light. Trust! For The Father has not given His children a spirit of fear (2 Timothy1:7). Therefore, we can rest and cling to the spirit of a sound mind; for He sets His angels all around us (Psalms 34:7). Who should a child of light fear? No weapon formed against His children will ever prosper (Isaiah 54:17. Rebuke your dreadful dreams and in HIS name claim sleep, for The Father of The children of light never slumbers nor sleeps...EVER! (Psalms 121:4).

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  2. Im 13 years old. When i was ten i had my first encounter with a demon. I was terrified! I told my mom about it and she said that she can do the same thing. Ive noticed that you start to see them around the age of 9 but they go away if u choose to follow God infact a few minutes ago i heard one of the demons say hey over my shoulder. Whenever i get an encounter i feel uneasy for hours. They r not welcome in my home and u need to tell them tht. This is a gift, and i need to remind myself of tht.
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